How easy is it for a single mom to engage in a relationship?
I continue to ask myself why society is in so many ways anti-female. If people around the world could just for once admit that we are not doing justice to our women, society and the world could change for the better. We need a drastic mind-shift in order to change the status quo.
A classic example is depriving a female of a job opportunity because men feel the job is too physical. We sometimes genuinely try to be sensitive towards women, but most of the time we are just protecting our own territories. Look at other countries where women are not even allowed to drive around on their own, they must be accompanied by a male. Or, how about a woman being accused of breaking up a relationship, while the man is the innocent party. Now I understand why a group of people in the bible were challenged to pick up the first stone and throw it at the woman who was accused of adultery; To my surprise, nobody was brave enough to do so.
It is against this background of societal perceptions and practices that I asked the question. You see when a relationship ends, and there are children involved, the woman is having the most difficult part to cope with - and that part is raising children on her own. Men are really surprising - did you ever come across a men that would put his life on hold after any break-up to raise his children? The reality is that a man can start with dating shortly after a break-up, regardless of whether he left a child or children behind. It is in exceptional circumstances that men would decide to take in their children to raise.
Single moms are more than often judged and watched with an eagle's eye, because everybody want to see whom they are dating, which men are frequenting their homes, and who is picking up their kids from school. These kind of circumstance makes it difficult for any woman to live her life freely with her children and new partner.
On the other hand you also find the greatest of resistance from her own children and family who never approve of any relationship she gets involved in. One could maybe understand children's uncertainty about the new man who walked into their house, and might at one point or another become their father. A even more serious concern on their part could be the new person coming to take over that special place they once occupied. They now need to deal with the reality of sharing or in extreme circumstances, losing this territory to another man.
Three-Point-Tip on Dating for Single Moms
- Sit down with your kids and talk them through the changes (i.e the break-up,their special place in your life, and your relationship prospects if you intend dating).
- Get them to talk about their concerns, fears, etc. concerning your engagements with men; and
- Invite your partner or potential partner, and male friends so as to introduce them to your children. They need to understand who is who, so that they do not get confused not knowing what is happening.
